Thursday, 21 May 2009

(8) ...A lot of dudes be thinking my poems are about them, this is not to get confused, this ones for you...

One man, no other can measure nor be compared, I'm your no.1 fan. You are the reason I am who I am, you are the reason alone is how I chose to stand. Though I don't blame you as there'd be no me without you.

A hug from you would set my soul on fire, a blaze killed by the tears you caused me to shed. Your bed is where I lie and smile so I remember the good days, although her bed is where you chose to lay. How I wish you stayed yet I'm glad your gone, I'm not confused, just struggle to differ what I need and want.

When times with us were bad, they were BAD, but that all got cancelled out when good times arrived. When YOU made me smile, all else was forgotten. I enjoyed the times we shared, I knew you cared all the times you were there, for ME when I felt no.1 else would be. You showed me another side to life, one without all the troubles and strife, but only happiness and joy, you made me feel complete.

I knew no other, you and only you. You were all I needed, until the day you walked away, without a goodbye without a word. You taught me what love was, but the emotion I then felt was indescribable, I knew not what it was. From then I swore 'love' will no longer live here. Anybody who showed feelings similar to ones you showed me, I smiled as I turned them negative. I didn't want people to love me, I didn't need people to love me, love from another wouldn't bring back the love from you, which I felt was all I needed.

What you once cherished is what you threw away, if love is eternal why did yours expire that day?

If what I thought was eternal love could hurt so bad, who am I to try and love somebody, I don't want to love incase I end up hurting them the way your hurting her. Too young minded, immature and naive, the way you raised me to be, leading me to believe, a care in the world is what I didn't have, as you'd ALWAYS be here, funny how always turned into never!

Arrogance is what became of me, but like you raised me, a care in the world is what I didn't have.

I've grown, not matured but grown, physically enough to know the difference between the and hate! I've never felt the latter and pray I never will. Whom I once love, hate can never be felt towards them, I don't hate you in the slightest, I just feel nothing.

I try to hold onto what I can of the times we shared, but as I grow, the memories fade...They say 'everything happens for a reason', but who are they? How do they know anything about the love we shared? Why do they make up all the rules?

I've accepted that you'll never come back, so I let go of the faded memories I hold on to, so my hands are free to grab onto a future for myself, and her, you did your part, it's our job to look after her now. No longer holding on, I don't need to. Your name is mine, until I find love and his becomes mine...But because of you I choose to not find love...So forever you and I will be together...

You will always be here, not physically, but behind Andrea is where you stand...Love from another man is no comparison, love from another just isn't the same.

Andrea Ushedo

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