Monday, 30 November 2009


Didn't you know I was waiting on you
Waiting on a dream that'll never come true
Didn't you know I was waiting on you
My face turnt to stone when i heard the news

When you decide to break the rules
'Cause I just heard some real bad news

People will talk like its old news
I played it off and act like I already knew
Let me ask you how long have you known her
You played it off and act like she's brand new

When you decide to break the rules
'Cause I just heard some
real bad news

Real bad news

Real bad news

Real bad news

Oh you just gonna keep another no you wont

Oh you just gonna keep it like you never knew

Oh you just gonna keep another love for you

Oh you just gonna keep it ike you never knew

While im waiting on a dream that'll never come true

Oh you just gonna keep it like you never knew

My face turnt to stone when i heard the news

Whats on the news, channel cruise.

x Love Life & Smile x

Wednesday, 25 November 2009

Hear no, See no, Speak no...

'When in Rome...'

If you live in a cage with tigers, you'll adapt to your surroundings and in due time, begin to ROAR, it's inevitable.

How do you remain positive, when negativity is what fuels your car on this journey called life!?

It's strange 'cause I genuinely try to get along with everyone, I don't feel we have to necessarily be FRIENDS, BUT common ground is fine with me. This has become one of the HARDEST things to do. Everybody is tryna change, tryna be someone else, tryna get somewhere, tryna be 'that person'. It's like, people's identities change more times than the Google logo. Nobody is exactly the same, we have similarities, we have differences, but which are what bring us and draw us to eachother!? It could be the differences, being enlightened by what others know and have done, that interests you, inspires you to learn and do more, or it could be the similarities, liking them 'cause they like what you like, you two can relate in more ways than one. Who knows. But it's HARD to do now 'cause nobody is being themselves, people put on a facade to fit in and stand out, that you can't even begin to try and tell what kind of person they are. Maybe the world would be a better place if everyone was the same, no!? [sigh]

It's like, a persons personality makes them who they are, why would you wanna change that!? Wouldn't you rather be the BEST you, than a rebore anyone else!? 1st place will ALWAYS remain better than 2nd place, but 2nd place is what your settling for by tryna adapt someone elses characteristics as your own. It's like I say, to avoid contradiction, say nuffin!

I've tried to be the good guy, I've tried to be the bad guy, I've tried to be the inbetween guy. I've tried and I've tried BUT...I can't be anything more than the Andrea guy. LoL. It's who I am, I sit here tryna find ways to describe how and what the Andrea guy is but, I just can't. It's just ME I guess. The way I look, the way I speak, the way I act, the way I walk...It comes naturally and it's when I feel most comfortable.

I've done a lot of bad things and I've tried to right those wrongs, even this week, I apologised to a VERY close friend well EX friend of mine, he claims to have accepted but hey who knows, the least I can do is try 'cause pretendin' I don't care about him when I do is silly, it's affectin' me more than it is him so why lie!? I've been FAKE, I've spoken to people who have REALLY hurt me 'cause I can't BE negative, I can't hold grudges, I can't bare to loose people I once cared for...But tryna hold on and wishin' summink was there when it just REALLY isn't is harder and worse than lettin' go. I tend to adapt peoples problems into my OWN life, disregarding the things that are important to be in my attempt to be that good friend, not realisin' that it's not fair on me and that it's sendin' my life downhill.

Recently it's been like an avalanche, recently I've been doin' a lot of thinkin' and I'm not ashamed to say that recently I've been doin' a lot of cryin'. Though I love my family and friends dearly, I need to prioritise everything. Lately I been thinkin' about sex TOO often for it to be normal, I mean TOOO much! [side eye] It's NOT important, it's NOT where my focus should be but I can't help it...or can I!?

I say [SN1] spare no.1 and par before you get parred and it's an attitude I've been FORCED to take on 'cause of the situations I've been through recently, I'm not like that, I like to smile at EVERYONE and just 'Love Life' negativity but it seems as though no matter how much I try, peoples actions are pushin' me in a direction I don't wanna go in [I'm not a murderer or nought but yeah, LoL] at all. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and do things differently with so many things/people...

1] I woulda stayed friends with him

2] I woulda been more than friends with HIM

3] I woulda never got FaceBook

4] I would DEFO tell her my true feelings from the get go

5] I wish I never lost weight and remained Size 24 life was GOOD then, I just din't know it

6] I wish I told my Dad I love him everyday

ArgH, the list is long, I'm gettin' tired and it's MAD late.

I just wanna enjoy myself, have a good time with good people and smile, thats all. I'm SO easily pleased you could buy me a SpongeBob penny case [from Amazon] for Christmas and I'd love you forever.

I'd rather regret sayin' summink than regret not sayin' it. Friendship is about tolerance, I'm tryna be a better person and nobody is perfect, I'm far from it, but if you care about me in the slightest, you'd stick around and join me on my journey, as I strive towards becomin' that person. As I would do for you and anyone would do for any loved one.

x Love Life & Smile x

Saturday, 21 November 2009


Keri Hilson


I dunno where to begin really and truely...Ermmm...WHAT IS THAT ON HER HEAD PLEASE!?

Makes NO sense. It's like a cross between a full head of weave/ponytail/mullet/squirrel tail Ushanka lookin' discombobulation!

Apparently this chick is meant to have 'style' 'swagger' and all them other words that describe the way a person dresses and carries themselves...YEAH! [side eye] She dresses like a normal prissy girl, I DON'T see the big fuss.

I personally give it where it's due yeah, so Keri is a HOT PIECE OF LADY. Don't ever get that twisted BUT I just don't rate her like everyone else does, sowwe! She just don't have 'IT'.

She's NO Beyonce! [May I state that they are of the same age, SAD!]

But yeah, I didn't feel her music [I hadn't listened to anything to be fair] but some of my mates wanted to show me that she deserves the hype around her name and stuffsss...

I got her album, listened to it. Meh! It's good. I like ermmm...'Tell Him The Truth' 'Intuition' and 'Return The Favour'. There may be some more but as of now that's all I can think of. RIGHT...Basically OOOOOOOOOH YEAH! 'Slow Dance' Hooo YESSSH! That is a banger aswell [bar the fact that in the video she is wearin' a YSL Snake skin dress previously worn by my BOO Amber Rose who rocked it A MILLION, TRILLION INFINITY times better than her] I quite liked the video and do like the song.

Since then there's been no Keri hypes, I don't really play her album much but I see she released some next tune inspired by a German film or summink. It ain't on z album but yeah...

It's called 'I Like' and quite sadly, I don't. I really don't. LoL.

Her eyes, eeek! She got them bedroom eyes. But sincerely, Kel, GET RID OF THE HAIR!!!

I've said enough, you be the judge...



x Love Life & Smile x

Lust For Life

'...but you could miss me with all that, diss me then crawl back, I really wish ya'll would fall back'

I got it, I'm listenin' to it, alla daaah!

I can't sleep [as usual] and I started to write...Well I was freestylin' actually, but I was writin' it down/tweetin' it. JOKES.

Well it was funny to ME until I realised how much JUNK I actually was writin'. GAAAH!

  1. : wishin' I was back there but prayin' I never go back there, I smile in fear, I cry in joy. GASSED! GOT8HJ96RQEP'RTYU (*&^%$%^&*(oEPRTFGH'J
  2. : this isn't what I want. Thinkin' it's what I need, findin' it difficult to let go, though I already let it slip through my fingers...
  3. : him all I see is a blank stare, what once was is no longer there, as I shed tears I smile and reminisce, longin' one last kiss knowin'...
  4. : he kept me afloat, as we set a sail on our love...ship, then came the bulls*** I'm forcin' to hold onto what isn't there, when I look at..
  5. : He promised that he'll catch me instead he made me fall. He became shallow the more I became DEEP in 'it' with him. Though I can't swim...

¬_¬ MAAAAAAAAADDEST SIDE EYE BOY. I dunno what came over me, Drake got me gassed up, I was thinkin' all this as I was bumpin' 'Lust For Life' instrumental.


YeaH, I dunno, at my age I'm still a scaredy cat, I'm not ashamed to admit this. Tonight I had a weird, scary, boot quivering experience I shall no longer talk about as it'll RE-scare me. I'll post it when the sunrises or summink.

Everyday I learn, I don't feel TOO bad when I do things wrong as all it means to be is that I've learnt summink new. In the end it'll all benefit me BUT sometimes I do wonder what this 'LIFE' is about, what it's for!? YeaH I believe in God, I ain't an Atheist or nought BUT my mind wanders, A LOT. So many unanswered questions, too many to list, pointless in talkin' about them as nobody seems to be willin' to provide any answers.

Whatever life is, I'm lustin' over it...a bad thing!? [shrugs] Another question unanswered.

Today I discovered that MAYBE, JAAAAAAAAAAAST MAYBE I chose the wrong career path...I was bored and was takin' pictures of myself as I tend to do [or make videos] when I'm bored. I stumbled across THIS...

THE MOST PERFECT SCHOOL TEACHER STANCE EVERRRRRRRRR! [NO EXAGG] I mean, what an interesting teacher I would be, I dunno what I'd teach though...Perhaps make up my own subject. =D ...Ayyy, me minds wanderin'.

iKid [slightly]

I believe it is a perfect school teacher stance BUT I do not believe I chose the wrong career path.

I'm talkin' rubbish and I have been told by someone today that I chat s*** so I shall not prove him right any further...

'Not all who wander are lost'.

x Love Life & Smile x

Tuesday, 17 November 2009








x Love Life [Lady GaGa & Beyonce] & Smile x

Friday, 13 November 2009

Tit for Tat is the only game I play...

Can someone tell me how 'Russian Roulette' is GENUINELY classified as a game please!?


No honestly...That's your LIFE on the line you know...LoL.

1 in 6 chance you could blow your own brains out. [or however many rounds can fit into a cylinder in a revolver] I mean, come on...

Na but it's Friday 13th [Woooo scary] and coincidently today is the day that Rihanna planned to release the second video from her album 'Rated R' [which I don't intend to purchase]. I've actually had GOOD LUCK today, had a really nice day as it goes, delightful. But yeah, I stumbled across her video, quite disturbing as I guessed from the get go, BUT it's alright/good. [shrugs] it's not crap it's just, meh/blah!

You be the judge, I dunno, I feel no way towards it for some reason...
x Love Life & Smile x


Thursday, 12 November 2009

Cheese on toast

I like cheese on toast, do you like cheese on toast!? 'Cause I LOVE cheese on toast.

Greetings earthlings, it is I, ShadeStar of planet Zybatron. [I enjoy sayin' that SO much it's a problem]

Todays been eventful, I had a lecture at 9 - 11. Usually I MISS that lecture I cannot lie, it's my only mornin' lecture of the whole week, for ME. 9am is 5am for the average person, TOO EARLY for anything let alone studying. But summink motivated me this mornin' and I got up and was on time for it [9:06] I was impressed.

I flew down [literally] to London 'cause I had to take my lil bro to some Athlete's exhibition fingy majig for 1pm. Got to London arounddd 12:15[ish] and who did I catch in Kings Cross Station!? Me Aunty, yaaay! I only yaaay because she drives and this is a ride home. She was comin' from some place doin' summink, I kinda zoned out 'cause I was slyly tired.

When I got home lil bro was ready and we set off. The exhibition was ALRIGHTTT you know, though I have no interest in coachin' or sports for that matter, it was somewhat enjoyable, PLUS we got free food. =D

On the journey home, I stopped off in Woolwich to meet a friend who borrowed my USB. Mans got work to do hinnit so I had to get that back, whilst in the process of doin' this my lil bro [whose name is Anthony, what I will be referrin' him as from this point on] said 'Aaargh, Anj lets go HMV quickly'. We went.

I din't know nor did I care what he wanted to do in HMV. He then says 'Aaah, you know that game I bought MW2 yeah!?'. I give him a straight face stare that simply means 'Go on'. He contines 'They got some night vision goggles that go with it yeah, they are SICK! It makes it like I'm proper in the game, like in the screen'. I then give him a side lip crawl left eyebrow raised glance that means 'FANTASTIC, why are you tellin' me this!?'. He proceeds, 'I BEGGG you buy them for me, pleaaase, it can be my early birthday present'. I blinked...

Na, the goggles look SICK though and as I been seein' him play the game I can just imagine the LIVEEE effect it will have on the gameplay, but like I MENTIONED, I will never use it and I wasn't interested in buyin' them but...should I buy it for him I contemplated...

Cut a long deliberation short, no I din't buy them for him...

When I got in I remembered, WAIT! THIS GUY HAD THESE GOGGLES IN THE HOUSE THE OTHER DAY!!! But he told me that they were my BIG brothers and that he was comin' to collect them later tonight, I then felt bad, but still not £120 worth of sad, sowwe Ant!

Knowin' me, Ima buy 'em for him on z weekend or summink, this lil guy is quite the persuader.


I slammed my right thumb in my Aunts car door, YOUCH! =( ...It don't hurt no more BUT apparently people's nails fall off when they get caught in doors and what have you...Dude, GOD FORBID! I'm shoook lie! Hopefully it's fine though, I ran it under cold water. ^.^

When I eventually got home, I jumped on Twitter and a friend of mine [@fizzief] shares how he is enjoyin' JLS' album '[no homo just promo]'.

AH HA! I ENJOY their album aswell surprisingly you knowww! I bought the album the other day and I am QUITE impressed. I LOVE 'Everybody In Love, Keep You, Heal This Heatbreak, Close To Me, Tightrope, Kickstart'. Naa the album is genuinely GOOD guys, I recommend it, honestly!

I think they had a bad start with 'Beat Again' and the shambolic video that went with it, but bar that, give it where it's due guys. But may I add that now when I listened to 'Beat Again' on iTunes without the video, I find myself singin' along to it. :O

Hehe, JLS baybeee.

x Love Life & Smile x

Tuesday, 10 November 2009

My booo is BACK!

: (8) ...Rah-rah-ah-ah-ah-ah! Roma-roma-mamaa! Ga Ga-ooh-la-la! Want your bad romance...

My wifey [though I was upset with her 'cause her and 'Ye cancelled their Fame Kills tour I was so happy about] has come back with a video, the first song released from the deluxe edition of her album 'The Fame: Monster'.

Singles called 'Bad Romance'. I heard the song last week and saw a clip of the video.

Here I am, nappin' and my guy 'Yo rings me to alert me. THE VIDEO HAS COME TO TOWN! =D

Obviously I jumped on Twitter [what has taken over my FaceBook time] and Tweet Tweeted away.

Na, the video has made me love the song MUCHO! I actually REALLY love Lady GaGa and everything about her, I think she's AMAZING!

I realised, she kept on being pictured with these ornaments covering the majority of her face, now in the video her and her dancers are wearin' 'em. I'm guessin' it's a theme for the album, you know how T Pain had the whole circus theme for 'Thr33 Ringz'!? YeaH, like that.


The video is CRAZY! Ai meppou takusan. >.<

x Love Life [Lady GaGa] & Smile x



I enjoy Twitter. MORE than I ever imagined I EVER would, it's crazy! My URL is @Shadestars

My gang who make Twitter what it is for ME are as follows [in no/somewhat a particular order]










There may be some more BUT I can't think of anymore right now, but then if I can't think of them then I guess their presence in my Twitter life isn't as great as I once thought...Blah!

Anyway, I reckon everyone should get Twitter, it's the bi'nizzz! I love it. PLUS if everyone gets Twitter, I will eventually SADLY but surely bring my FaceBook existence to a SHOCKING end!

There will obviously be a slight delay due to my addiction and monogamous relationship we once shared, yes, yesh I am still talkin' about FaceBook!

Yesterday [Monday] was a fun day but then it turned emotional towards the end but like I have recently promised myself, I kept my composure, I was so AMAZED that I could and did. =)

YaaaY me!

Sometimes, all your emotions shouldn't be expressed. Sometimes your affection towards someone should remain only known by you. SOMETIMES, things don't work out the way you once wished they would and there is nought you can do but be happy at the fact it happened and move on. It seems easier said than done, I won't lie, it truly is. But it's not as hard as you think, a stable heart is a stable mind is a stable body. Let your mind and body work hand in hand and in due course, everything will be fine and when you sit and reminicse on old memories...You won't sulk and pray for a chance to go back, instead you'll smile and prepare yourself for the better things to come that lie ahead.

x Love Life & Smile x

P.s...No, I was on ConcreteLoop [as usual] and they posted JoJo - BackWords :O

Is JoJo back[ish, as she kinda wasn't really here to begin with BUT had some tunesss]!? I enjoy the song but I dunno, you tell me...

P.s x2 This song kinda contradicts my last thoughts but hey, LoL. I din't say I can relate, I just like the track.

Monday, 9 November 2009

* Jingle of the moment *

'Rihanna, I'm happy for you and Ima let you finish BUT...Tina Turner had the greatest domestics of ALL TIME' via @Ayojourno

Rihanna is COOL, I likes her BUT her interview!? No need. Coincidently she plucked up the courage to speak on her beat down and look like a victim and make Chris Brown look like a PSYCHO KILLER right before both of their albums are set to be released...WE DON'T CARE THOUGH!?!

Chris Brown is a GUYMAN! I love him and will continue to...


But yeah, my Jingle of the moment is his latest track called 'I can transform ya'.


Enjoy and shimmy on dowwwn!

x Love Life & Smile x

ShadeStar - Distorted

I forgot one of my deadlines were for this Monday...PAUSE!

NO I DIDN'T FORGET MY DEADLINE WAS ON MONDAY, my lecturer decided it was OK to change my deadline from the 24th - 9th. ¬_¬

NOT impressed. Major, just means I had to get me skates on.

RIGHT...It's not a PROPER deadline, it's called a 'Formative Assessment' which is basically the deadline before the REAL deadline where your lecturer gets the opportunity to tell you how crap your work you've done so far is...LoooL. Or in rare cases vice versa.

Anyway, so this FUNFILLED weekend I had planned got taken over by loads and LOADS of work doin'. I don't mind 'cause I got majority of it [for ONE module] out of the way so I'm happy and impressed. =)

Ermmm...YEAH! I took a break from all the hard work [Anj wipes sweat from forehead] and as usual, my short attention span found entertainment...


x Love Life & Smile x

Thursday, 5 November 2009

Alla daaah!

I have not blogged in AGES! This is REALLY bad, I'm not even gaaan to blame University nomore 'cause that isn't the real excuse, my growin' illness [Lethargy] is to blame. I NEED TO OVERCOME THISSS!!!

I ain't had me lappy @ Uni though with me so I can use that part [though I some how find myself on FaceBook at least once every 3days] ¬_¬

Right, Ima be back properly SOON. I won't say now 'cause that's almost a lie.

OMDZZZ!!! Last week Thursday, I performed at my Uni talent show called 'BE' it was LIVE! I am ever so proud of myself, the adrenaline rush was MENTAL! I loved every minute of it though, I have said before and REALLY mean it, Ima get serious with it so HOPEFULLY news and info on that will be on here soon[ish].


But yeah...Today there has been SO much Twitter banter about Trey Songz new video for his single 'I invented SEX'. I reckon quite personally boys are just HATIN'.

The girl looks hella pretty, nice body, Trey looks HELLA hot, nice body. They lookin' good, the video is NICE and the song is GOOD...SO!? What more do you want!?

Nobody said it should win video of the year but come on men, give it where it's due...

I just bought his album [Trey Songz] like 30minutes ago, I have had 'I invented SEX' on for the whole time but when I listen to the rest of the album, Ima let you know how it is...I heard it's good already though...

P.s...the £8 I used to BUY it on iTunes was meant to be for my train ticket back to yeah! Ermmm...Shafe!

x Love Life x

P.s...x2 No glove no love...Strap it up before you smack it up.