Thursday, 28 January 2010

: Saddest Joy!

I been writin' and stoppin' and writin' and stoppin' for the past 3weeks on this piece, it never seems finished or I lose concentration or I don't feel it no more, loads of things have happened that have made me stop writin' it. But I finished it the other day and decided that Ima leave it UNfinished.

It's called, 'Saddest Joy!'

As I lay sideways, my tears loose direction and also begin to fall...sideways...As I weep over past days, hoping WISHING for better days, days that seem like only a phase. Conversing as memories float through me, we're so alike, we're no longer tight anymore, no love we just fight forevermore. They say pain is inevitable, they said if it don't kill you, well I'm getting weaker. My thoughts get deeper; I no longer wanna be here. So I constantly find myself, running and running and moving away so fast yet at a slow pace tryna chase anything to help get away from what you left behind. Hoping to find something new though you knew, no you know that what you had was the best but with time it grew into a mess, such distress forever in pain with no gain just restraining the urge to return to where you once were when you were happy with the way things were. But it’s funny that we play tit for tat with an emotional baseball bat that I use to SMASH into your head whilst we lie together in bed and you tell me lies about how I’m the only one who’s been in your bed, all these sweet nothings now give me diabetic chills of affection as you crave for 100% of my attention as I ponder revenge, bad intentions. We’re perfectly wrong for each other.

You say you hate his lies but, the truth won’t feed your ego, everywhere he is, is everywhere you wanna go, but the fact that you don’t know, is what makes this my saddest joy, the smile he provides me with is worth more than the tears that I’ve cried for this. It’s like I feel so weak whenever we’re apart, you hold us together yet you’re why we fall apart. You pierced the soul of me with, cupids dart now getting over you is the hard part,

Her and she and them and he, what happened to me and you and us and we? I just want it to be happily, you and me, you and I us and NO ONE, with them involved it's NO fun. Just pain and more pain, rain and no gain, shame and more blame my love has been slain...

By Andrea 'ShadeStar' Ushedo.

Ima record myself performin' this by the end of z week so you can get a more personal feel of things, so yeah. Look out for that soon ANDDD join me FaceBook Group if you ain't done so already, gonna be regular updates on there soon. CLICK! iWrite by Andrea Ushedo

x Love Life & Smile x

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