Friday, 5 February 2010

: Emo[tion]

I haven't written a full piece in a little while and I admit I HAVE been slackin'. SHUCKS! I blatantly said this year Ima be more serious and focus a lot more on my Poetry, I refuse to fail myself so yesterday mornin' I found myself up at 7am TWEETIN' like some FIEND, so I thought, lemme write summink. Then that's when I wrote that sentence and blogged it for you guys, it was incomplete then but now it's finished. =D

It was CALLED 'Untitled' for a while then I thought, lemme give it some character...

I decided to call it 'Emo[tion]' I quite like the name, hehe. I was gaaan to record myself performin' the sumtin but then my eyes were all red and sleepified so I gave that whole webcam episode a miss. But hopefully by the end of z week I'll have that for ya 'cause I DO feel that if you hear me speakin' the words, you'll get a better feel of the emotion and feel it much more.

But yeah, here goes...

I’m at the point where my emotions cannot be described by words, so I stare blankly into space, often finding myself daydreaming of words unspoken. Feeling cold due to all the feelings trapped inside me, that warm me up, that cool me down, that make me hot, and that make me frown. Though I smile when things are good, it’s when they’re bad that really get me down. As frustration leads to certainty , I’m seeing Red, or maybe it’s Burgundy as I dim down my Rose tinted shades, that always tell me everything’s going to be ok, that can make sheer joy from a fiery rage, that can give me freedom from this cage, I voluntarily imprison myself in. The thoughts within you’d never guess, that I’m sometimes sad, you’ll never guess, I’m mostly happy you’ll never guess that yes, I’m showered with love yet lack it in my life. Through troubles and strive I argue with love, I say ‘Are you really here to help me love!?’ and love replies ‘only I can make you feel this way, almost each and every day I’ve been here for you, I’m here to stay’. Leaving me with thoughts, feelings I keep locked inside, praying that with time, maybe, hopefully, I’ll have someone to share them with, like a special friend of mine. But how can I, when I’m such a commotion of emotion, longing to be free, yet trapped with such devotion, you’re joking, I can’t fall in it, I’m way too young, my hearts not in it. I can’t think straight, my thoughts are too deep so I lay her and ponder and in my mind wonder over and over it’s driving me insane, if we really get over love or if time just eases pain!?

Andrea Ushedo.

Hope you enjoyed the read, look out for the video post of me performin' it...WELL not performin' it in front of an audience or anything, just me recordin' it in my room or summink but I can't think of another word to call it, but jaaast look out for it...

x Love Life & Smile x

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